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Saturday, March 17, 2012

What can I do?

When I was sick, really sick, not simply this recent cold that has me dragging a bit, when I had cancer there were people lining out the door and around the block to try and help.  No, there was not an actual line of people surrounding my house but had I asked for one I'm sure that would have been there.  Our line was slightly more amorphous and consisted of countless phone calls, emails, letters, and cards all asking if there was anything that they (the sender) could do to help us.  It took some time to learn to say yes to these offers and even more time to learn to ask for something specifically. 
If I had to do it over I think I might do some things differently:
     I would have sat down all the meal makers and told them about the foods that we, as a family, really enjoy.  I would have told them all to coordinate with each other so that we wouldn't worry that lasagna was coming on back to back nights.
     I would have asked people to yes please, empty the dishwasher and no, don't worry about where anything goes...except the cups they go here.  And when I'm thirsty because I am borderline dehydrated I need to be able to get the cups quickly.
     I would have given up worrying about what the tub looked like and let other people scrub it shiny!
     I would have said yes more when someone offered me their seat even if I didn't feel that tired.  Sometimes its more important to take the seat than not when it comes to making the other person feel a little good too.
     I would have asked more people to read aloud to me.  After chemo treatments I often couldn't watch tv or read a book but could listen.
     I would have written about more of the journey, or maybe asked others to write about their part of the journey.
These are all things that I, as the patient, could have asked for more of.  If you are a patient what would you ask for?  If you are a caregiver or family member or friend what would you offer?

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Hope is another word for love

Hi all,

I must begin this post by saying, my valentine's flowers were beautiful!!  As were the flowers that my husband bought our 4 year old.  Very sweet.

This weekend I had the great pleasure of speaking at a Leukemia and Lymphoma fundraising event in Boston.  The Gala for a Cure was held on Saturday night and I think I was told that there were about 400 people there.  I was asked to come and share my cancer story with the crowd.  It was amazing!  I have told my story countless times at this point but never to this many people at once and I don't think I've ever heard the room so silent as I spoke.  It means such a great deal to me to be able to give back in this way.  I hope I am providing support for families and patients as well as reminding others why the cause of ending cancer is such an important one to support.  I hope I am giving hope.

This morning my 4 year old finished her breakfast and told me, "Madeline hurt my feelings mommy".  For those of you who remember having imaginary friends and for those who don't Madeline entered our family when G was about 2 and half.  She is the same Madeline as the one in the wonderful children's books written by Ludwig Bemelmans (http://www.madeline.com/).  Madeline is one of 12 young girls living at a boarding school in Paris and we often hear about Madeline and the girls in our house!  Anyway, this morning I found my self asking what Madeline had done to hurt G's feelings.  "She's not giving me any hope" she told me.  "Mommy, hope is another word for love".  At first glance this sentence might not make much sense but when you really think about it, it makes perfect sense and sums up a feeling that I've not ever been able to articulate.  So the next time you are thinking about hope and/or love please remember that hope is just another word for love.

With love,
Elizabeth