tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66004388018704716422024-02-08T06:47:13.026-05:00Cancer Gave Me 2 BirthdaysElizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.comBlogger74125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-20851584020035939602014-10-16T17:03:00.000-04:002014-10-16T17:03:03.662-04:00Happy CrapiversaryIts raining today. The kind of rain that makes you want to climb back into bed to watch old reruns and your favorite movies. I almost did just that when I got home from the bus stop drop off but remembered the date and thought better of the movie and bed plan. Today is not the day for me to head back to bed. Today is a day to feel alive and growing. Today is October 16, 2014, it has been exactly five years since my very first oncologist had to say the words, "You have cancer." Five years. Hard to imagine. Five years ago the floor dropped out from under me and my life changed, never to return to what it once was. <div>
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I have often said that I am not grateful for having had cancer. I still stand by that. I tend to be grateful for things that aren't trying to kill me. Chocolate, iced tea, my family, my friends, the ocean, the list goes on and on. You will never, however, find cancer on that list. That being said, I like who I am today. I like the person I have become and the person I am becoming. Some of the changes and growth that I have experienced come from having fought for my life. I'd like to believe that most of the growth would have occurred anyway...just perhaps on a slower scale.</div>
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So, Happy Crapiversary to me! Here's to many more Crapiversaries....kind of like a birthday, but not.</div>
Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-30434419872201215752013-10-08T13:59:00.001-04:002013-10-08T13:59:04.992-04:00StrengthWhere to begin...<br />
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It is a beautiful Tuesday afternoon and I am sitting here trying to find the right words. Yesterday, an article about me appeared on the<a href="http://www.lhj.com/health/conditions/cancer/three-months-to-live-lymphoma-beat-odds/?page=1" target="_blank"> Ladies Home Journal </a>website, and today it can be found in the magazine on store shelves. This was not a surprise. I was an integral part in the writing and producing of this particular story and new what days to look for it in print. I know the story inside and out and understood that it would become public in a way that I haven't experienced before. What I didn't know was that it would make me weak in the knees to see and read. <br />
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I have lived the diagnosis. I have lived the chemotherapy. I have lived the transplant. Above all I have lived the fear and the joy. But to see it in print....is a whole other ballgame! As I read the story yesterday I found myself repeating over and over "oh, shit" as I was reminded of the horror. I looked at the pictures that accompany the article to be sure that it was really me. I read and reread and reread. And then I cried. <br />
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I cried because I remember it all. I cried because there are parts that I want to forget. I cried because I wish it never happened. I cried because other people are going through it today. I cried because the whole darn thing is amazing and wonderful and totally overwhelming. But most of all I cried because I am here to cry. I am here to share my story in hopes of helping just one other person as they travel through their own fear and their own story.<br />
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Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-43485102259093083512013-09-30T08:15:00.002-04:002013-09-30T08:15:38.921-04:00The AudienceI am home after a whirlwind trip to Las Vegas . I was in Vegas less than 48 hours. It may have been short but this trip has been wonderful. The food in Vegas was been amazing, from breakfast at Thomas Keller's Bouchon (twice) to the duck breast at Emeril Lagasse's Table 10. Not to mention the wine and bellinis! I was able to see a Cirque show on Wednesday night after an enormous waffle cone full of Ben & Jerrys. My suite came complete with 3 televisions and a phone in the bathroom,. The king size bed was soft yet firm and loaded with perfect pillows. The people working at the Venetian were kind and helpful including the blackjack dealer who helped explain the rules and strategy while very kindly (and happily) taking my money! (Not to worry, I was only willing to gamble $50...Grace will still get to go to college!). For all of the great touristy reasons the trip was excellent!<br />
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And then there was the real reason I made the trip. On Wednesday morning I shared my cancer story with around 200 people who work for Genentech. What an audience! They listened closely, asked questions, and thanked me. Thanked me again and again and again. I have had numerous opportunities to share my story with patients, caregivers, and survivors but this was the first time I have spoken to people who work in the field of cancer but rarely get to meet those of us in the thick of it. At the risk of sounding like I'm sucking up to the company, it is important to me to say thank you to them. They reminded me that sharing my cancer story is so much bigger than me. So, Thank you.Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-55608408295994009162013-09-21T21:18:00.002-04:002013-09-21T21:18:48.530-04:00Surrounded by cancer...by choiceFor a little over a year I have worked in a pediatric hematology oncology clinic, supporting the parents of children in treatment. Almost on a weekly basis someone finds out what I do for work and just after the obligatory horrified look, they ask "How in the world can you work there?". I tend to hear this question and smile humbly (I hope I look humble), and then try to deduce the meaning behind the question. Typically, if I'm speaking with someone who knows of my own history with cancer, they are genuinely curious about why I would choose to stay surrounded by cancer. Those poor individuals who do not know my history honestly seem to feel sorry for my choice of work. They are thrilled that someone is willing to work with pediatric cancer and the families affected by it, but they "know" that person could never be them. <br />
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So, after being asked, once again, this past Thursday about how I could possibly choose to stay in the cancer world, I spent some time thinking about it. (This is not a new topic for my poor little brain and is often a topic that seems to come up when I'm trying to sleep!). Why do I surround myself with cancer? Would it be "healthier" to go back to teaching or perhaps a whole new profession? Is it even a choice for me to work in cancer?<br />
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Here are the answers that I've thought of most recently:<br />
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I surround myself with cancer because it feels right. <br />
I surround myself with cancer because when you have cancer you meet other people with cancer. <br />
I surround myself with cancer because I would be surrounded by it even if I buried my head in the sand.<br />
I surround myself with cancer because my story provides hope to other patients and their families.<br />
I surround myself with cancer because I know what fear does to a person and perhaps I can help someone else breath through that fear.<br />
I surround myself with cancer because tomorrow is not promised but today I can't provide a shoulder to cry on, a cup of hot coffee, or a joke to ease the tension.<br />
I surround myself with cancer because I can.<br />
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A sincere thank you to the patients and families that have allowed me into their lives during the most difficult of times.Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-40144987355427542252013-09-13T14:15:00.000-04:002013-09-21T21:20:07.412-04:001 doctor, 2 doctors, 3 doctors, 4.....I'm sitting in the waiting room of a doctor's office for an appointment with a new doctor. These days I do my best to avoid adding new doctor's to my contact list but sometimes it is unavoidable. Fortunately, this visit is a simple primary care physician change. It was time to try a new office, an office with a doctor and staff that have a great deal of experience caring for cancer survivors. On my way here, while sitting in traffic, I was trying to count the number of physician phone numbers are programed into my phone...not to worry, I wasn't actually looking at the phone, but instead trying to think of all the names from memory. This exercise proved to be more difficult than I imagined. First of all, my memory stinks. Between age and residual chemo brain, I'm often lucky if I can remember what I ate for breakfast. Second of all, the list seems to go on and on and on...<br />
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There is a primary care physician, an ob-gyn, my dentist, a thoracic surgeon, more than one research nurse, multiple oncologists, primary nurses pharmacists, a transplant coordinator, and who knows how many others that I met in the medical field throughout my cancer nightmare whom I now consider friends and keep in touch with. And on and on and on....<br />
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Fortunately, I have been blessed with world class medical care and as a result I'm still here to complain about the number of doctors with phone numbers in my contact list. Anyway, here I am waiting to meet yet another doctor. Keep your fingers crossed that this is another one to put permanently in the list. We can all use good people looking out for us, even if it isn't always easy to remember all of there names.Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-8209977354880667972013-01-24T21:23:00.000-05:002013-01-24T21:23:07.481-05:00The liars and cheats...and the Heroes.Its official, Lance Armstrong is a cheat and a liar. His recent interview with Oprah wasn't particularly surprising, if you have been following the story at all over the past several years. Yet, while not surprising I still find it incredibly disappointing.<br />
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I don't really care about the impact of the cycling world, they'll recover. Or about the fact that Lance was rude and mean to his accusers, they'll recover too. What I care about is that I spent time looking up to Mr. Armstrong as a cancer survivor. I held him up to a higher standard because he had done something as incredible as beating cancer and then gone on to impress people. I looked up to him for the things he has accomplished in the cancer community and the countless lives that have been touched by a simple yellow bracelet (<a href="http://cancergaveme2birthdays.blogspot.com/2010/12/remember-to-be-thankful.html" target="_blank">A livestrong story</a>). For ages I held on to the belief that no cancer survivor would mess with their new, healthier body with steroids or blood doping.<br />
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Today, I feel angry. Angry at having been duped. Angry that all cancer survivors aren't saints. Angry that Lance Armstrong, the liar and the cheat, can easily get a stage with Oprah Winfrey. I am angry that Lance can no longer be the good guy who changed cancer. He will always be tainted.<br />
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I may be angry but the angrier I begin to feel the more I slow myself down and remember the good. I remember the heroes....not the lying and cheating heroes but the real heroes. <br />
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The daughter who loves me even though I was "so silly to let the hair stylist shave my head".<br />
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The husband who loves me bald and hairy, cancer-ful and cancer-free.<br />
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The family who keeps me grounded. (You must always have someone in your life to remind you of what a dork you were in middle school)<br />
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The doctors who saved my life even when they were unsure if that was a possibility.<br />
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The dear friend who turned her home over to complete strangers so that we could be settled while in Maryland.<br />
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The nurses who took care of me each step of the way.<br />
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The fellow cancer survivors who were also fighting a fierce uphill climb.<br />
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This list goes on and on and on....<br />
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Today, and everyday, when you are faced with the onslaught of liars and cheats, step back and remember the heroes. As Mr. Rodgers so eloquently put it <em>"Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are
helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my
mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are
still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.</em>" <br />
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<br />Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-7222680591257446962013-01-01T12:03:00.001-05:002013-01-01T12:03:09.949-05:00Happy DaysHappy New Year all!<br />
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Yesterday, December 31, 2012 marked +1000 days post stem cell transplant. +1000! Typically, I pay attention to the years (in April I will be 3 years old) but 1000 days sounds pretty awesome! Beginning on transplant day (day 0) it is easy to count the days, +1, +2, +3...+10...+15...+25...+50...+100...and so on. Those first 100 days are usually when any "excitement" happens. Side effects like GVHD, mouth sores, weight loss, etc. often rear their ugly heads in the beginning. As you pass +100 days and begin to feel human again, begin to fell slightly less fearful of every ache or pain, it becomes harder to count each day. You just forget. Periodically, you might count back on a calendar and recognize +200 days or +333 days, whatever numbers seem worthy of recognition. Truthfully, they are all worthy of recognition. Ask any transplant survivor and he or she will likely tell you that every day is a gift and worth celebrating. <br />
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So, last night while trying to stay awake to ring in the new year I pulled up a special calculator on the web. Using<span class="c_tlbxTrg"><span class="c_tlbxTrgIcn sw_ddgn"> this particular calculator allows you to input any two dates and figure out how many days, months, weeks, seconds, have passed between them. Easy enough. I put in April 6, 2010 and December 31, 2012 and what do you know +1000 days! Amazing!</span></span><br />
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<span class="c_tlbxTrg"><span class="c_tlbxTrgIcn sw_ddgn">As you begin this new year remember that each day is a gift and every milestone is worth celebrating! You can even choose your milestones!</span></span>Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-1073062837013584912012-11-09T23:46:00.000-05:002012-11-09T23:46:57.135-05:00Hope and smart Doctors The clock says 8:39pm but as far as I'm concerned it might as well be 4am tomorrow. I flew to California last night and despite a great nights sleep in my hotel last night I have already climbed in to bed. I'm hoping that the time change doesn't mess up sleep tonight, as I'd like to be awake and alert tomorrow. I'm in California to attend and speak at the Lymphoma Research Foundation's National Educational Forum in Manhattan Beach. I am very much looking forward to learning about new treatment options and hearing what is coming in the near future for Lymphoma patients. I am also looking forward to sharing my own cancer story with the attendees. With a little luck my story will be helpful to at least one member of the audience tomorrow. One person who is scared or hopeless or unsure of how they will ever make it through. If I can offer that person a minute or two of relief, than I will have spoken well. It is unfair that any of us have to endure these diseases or watch our loved ones get sick but we are not alone in any of this. In fact, we are surrounded by love, strength, bravery, and hope. And these things along with smart doctors will bring us through. Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-33560801735466022522012-08-29T20:38:00.005-04:002012-08-29T20:38:52.560-04:00First Day Jitters....Today was the first day of Kindergarten.<br />
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My baby girl has grown to the amazing age of five and as a result we put her on the bus and sent her off to school. She loves it! She loves everything about it! The new backpack with matching lunchbox; the Cinderella pencil case; the folder to hold work; the new clothes and shoes; the prospect of homework; the ride to and from school on a "real" bus...the list goes on and on and on. The bottom line is that mommy's baby is not a baby anymore and her independence and eagerness is shining through.<br />
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Mommy hates it! I hate almost everything about it! I hate the idea of the bigger kids on the bus; I hate the idea of remembering milk money; I hate that she has to make friends without any help from me; I hate that she will, at some point, have her feelings hurt or a skinned knee and I won't be right there to make it better; I hate that a sign of good parenting is raising a child that is ready for kindergarten, and then middle school, and then high school, and so on. Mommy hates it so much that I walked home from the bus stop and promptly got in my car to be sure that she didn't get lost at the other end. I hid behind a bush at the elementary school and while she didn't see me, I could see her smiling face in the right line with the right teacher.<br />
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And yet, I love it. I love every minute of watching her grow. I love how excited she is about school. I love that she can't wait to learn to read. I love that she got off the bus this afternoon with stories from the day and an eagerness to go back tomorrow. I love that tonight at bedtime she hugged me tight and said "Mommy, I love you. Please snuggle a little longer." <br />
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I will snuggle as long as you like beautiful girl.<br />
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<br />Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-21016622366945904952012-05-23T09:46:00.000-04:002012-05-23T10:12:19.708-04:00Thoughts from a professional patientThis Friday I have an appointment with an oncologist. A new one. I already have several oncology specialists in my corner but I guess one more can't hurt. Right? This particular appointment isn't really a big deal, its simply to determine if my Immune Globulin level is low enough for a immune boosting transfusion. Immune Globulin??? There is a phrase that I never imagined myself knowing or even reading for that matter. But, the last 2 + years has given me quite an education. If you are unfamiliar with my story check out this post (<a href="http://cancergaveme2birthdays.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2010-11-04T20:53:00-04:00&max-results=7&start=35&by-date=false">October 10, 2010 Speech</a>) Today, I am a cancer survivor and a professional patient.<br />
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What is a professional patient? I think this definition can change from person to person but for me the following 5 things are particularly important:<br />
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1. I know where to find snacks and water in any doctor's office. Even in a new place with a new doc I can sniff out the munchies that will insure I'm in a good mood (not grumpy and hungry) when I meet with the doctor.<br />
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2. I know which medicines to take at what time and how much. This information has changed over time but my desire to keep track of it has remained steady. I have never allowed a nurse or a doctor to hand me a pill to take without first getting them to tell me what it is and what it will do. I do this even when it is the same amount of Tylenol that they brought to me 4 hours before. I also check my own pills at home. Once a week I refill my "granny box" and although I could probably do it with my eyes closed I still read every label. Better safe than sorry.<br />
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3. I very rarely wear paper clothes or over sized hospital gowns. I actually have a "hospital wardrobe". These are the yoga pants, t-shirts, and underthings that I know do not have metal tags or zippers. These clothes are comfortable, clean and totally appropriate for x-rays, CT scans, PET scans and MRIs.<br />
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4. I ask an annoying amount of questions. I worry too much and want answers to even the silliest of things. For example, I recently stubbed my toe so badly that I nearly cried for an hour. The pain actually took my breath away. As soon as I was able to get on the computer I sent an email to one of my many oncologists to be sure that a stubbed toe wouldn't be a problem with my new immune system. He laughed at me but also answered the question, "Toe might be broken but your immune system is fine."<br />
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5. I know that it is ok to have a bad day. I can have a bad day. My doctors can have bad days. My nurses can have bad days. It is just better when we try not to have them at the same time.<br />
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There are probably a million other things that I could add to the list but this seems to be a great start. If you find yourself in the position of professional patient keep these things in mind and remember that your list might be a little different. I'm off to make sure that one doctor has not forgotten to submit a referral for this new doc...wish me luck!<br />
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Best,<br />
ElizabethElizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-2234812601966017082012-05-17T21:54:00.001-04:002012-05-17T21:54:18.589-04:00Post-Vacation EnergyYou all know the normal post-vacation feeling....you return from a week away, relaxing and enjoying yourself, only to discover that you are now exhausted and hardly ready to return to the "real world". Whether its the final travel that does us in or simply the shock of coming back to reality, it is often difficult to re-enter. Well, we returned late Monday night from a great vacation in an unnamed southern state...basically a week bike riding and beach going with a little golf and shopping thrown in for good measure. Oh, and a whole lot of food! Enough food, in fact, to cause my WII Fit to tell me I'd aged several years in just a week. Anyway, for some unknown reason I have returned from vacation with a great deal of energy and an amazing ability to make AND complete a list of tasks each day.<br />
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I've always been good at making the list but not so good at crossing things off. In fact, I have even been known to add things to a to-do list that I've already done just so I can feel good about crossing something off! Somehow, even though we didn't arrive home until Monday night at around midnight I seem to be able to stay up a little later and get a whole lot more done. <br />
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I'm not entirely convinced of the point of this post except maybe to recognize a change in myself. Its been a long time (a little over 2 years, I think) since I have really been able to focus. My memory is still shot but if I keep my handy notebook and calendar at my side, I just might be able to accomplish some big things! Here's to trying!Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-39957261302091774602012-04-07T20:32:00.000-04:002012-04-07T20:32:31.466-04:002 years and counting...Yesterday was April 6th and marked 2 years since my stem cell transplant at The National Institute of Health. On Thursday, the 5th, I had bloodwork done, a PET scan, and a CT scan. Bloodwork was "perfect" according to my doctor. And my scans showed continued calcification in the 2 masses of scar tissue left in my body. For those wondering, calcification is a good thing, a very good thing. There was a teeny bit of uptake on the PET scan at the bottom of the mass in my chest but seems to be the result of inflammation due to the never-ending cough and cold that I have been fighting. It was sort of amazing to look at a scan with activity (even a small amount) and not feel panic or dread or even fear. I wasn't sure that I would ever look at a scan again and not be terrified. I guess when you trust your medical team as I have learned to trust mine then you slowly, very slowly, learn to keep these things in perspective. Whatever it is, perspective or time or a combination of the two, it was truly a pleasure to walk out of my appointment with my team and feel really good about my scans.<br />
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So, its been 2 years since they put my sister's immune system into my body. It is still nutty to me that that is even possible! I no longer have cancer activity in my body nor the reality that I could die very soon. Instead, I have life and love and unending hope. I also seem to have "inherited" seasonal allergies but I'm ok with that!<br />
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Best,<br />
ElizabethElizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-57085549015333030502012-04-02T20:55:00.001-04:002012-04-02T20:55:32.170-04:00A beauty of cancerI will never tell you that I am thankful that I got cancer. I simply can not stomach the thought of being thankful for that. I will tell you that I am proud of the way I handled cancer (most days) and I am thankful for the many things I learned from cancer. There are, in fact, a great many things that cancer teaches you and a great many things to take away from cancer. This post is about one of those things and I will refer to it as a beauty of cancer.<br />
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A beauty of cancer is the people. The people you meet along the way. The people you knew before but step up during. The people you meet after when you are a new person. There are the friends, the family, the nurses, the doctors, the radiology techs, the IV teams, the phlebotomists, the lab techs, the aids, the cafeteria staff, the patients, the survivors, and the list goes on and on and on. I have met people in person. I have met them online. I have dear friends who I only know through facebook. I have met the spouses and parents and children of patients. I have met people from all over the United States and all over the world. The people are amazing.<br />
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Cancer sucks. The people are amazing.Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-42778819934880541202012-03-17T02:54:00.001-04:002012-03-17T02:54:48.922-04:00What can I do?When I was sick, really sick, not simply this recent cold that has me dragging a bit, when I had cancer there were people lining out the door and around the block to try and help. No, there was not an actual line of people surrounding my house but had I asked for one I'm sure that would have been there. Our line was slightly more amorphous and consisted of countless phone calls, emails, letters, and cards all asking if there was anything that they (the sender) could do to help us. It took some time to learn to say yes to these offers and even more time to learn to ask for something specifically. <br />
If I had to do it over I think I might do some things differently:<br />
I would have sat down all the meal makers and told them about the foods that we, as a family, really enjoy. I would have told them all to coordinate with each other so that we wouldn't worry that lasagna was coming on back to back nights.<br />
I would have asked people to yes please, empty the dishwasher and no, don't worry about where anything goes...except the cups they go here. And when I'm thirsty because I am borderline dehydrated I need to be able to get the cups quickly.<br />
I would have given up worrying about what the tub looked like and let other people scrub it shiny!<br />
I would have said yes more when someone offered me their seat even if I didn't feel that tired. Sometimes its more important to take the seat than not when it comes to making the other person feel a little good too.<br />
I would have asked more people to read aloud to me. After chemo treatments I often couldn't watch tv or read a book but could listen.<br />
I would have written about more of the journey, or maybe asked others to write about their part of the journey.<br />
These are all things that I, as the patient, could have asked for more of. If you are a patient what would you ask for? If you are a caregiver or family member or friend what would you offer?Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-6140820147201059302012-03-06T12:36:00.001-05:002012-03-06T12:36:46.924-05:00Hope is another word for loveHi all,<br />
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I must begin this post by saying, my valentine's flowers were beautiful!! As were the flowers that my husband bought our 4 year old. Very sweet.<br />
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This weekend I had the great pleasure of speaking at a Leukemia and Lymphoma fundraising event in Boston. The Gala for a Cure was held on Saturday night and I think I was told that there were about 400 people there. I was asked to come and share my cancer story with the crowd. It was amazing! I have told my story countless times at this point but never to this many people at once and I don't think I've ever heard the room so silent as I spoke. It means such a great deal to me to be able to give back in this way. I hope I am providing support for families and patients as well as reminding others why the cause of ending cancer is such an important one to support. I hope I am giving hope.<br />
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This morning my 4 year old finished her breakfast and told me, "Madeline hurt my feelings mommy". For those of you who remember having imaginary friends and for those who don't Madeline entered our family when G was about 2 and half. She is the same Madeline as the one in the wonderful children's books written by Ludwig Bemelmans (<a href="http://www.madeline.com/">http://www.madeline.com/</a>). Madeline is one of 12 young girls living at a boarding school in Paris and we often hear about Madeline and the girls in our house! Anyway, this morning I found my self asking what Madeline had done to hurt G's feelings. "She's not giving me any hope" she told me. "Mommy, hope is another word for love". At first glance this sentence might not make much sense but when you really think about it, it makes perfect sense and sums up a feeling that I've not ever been able to articulate. So the next time you are thinking about hope and/or love please remember that hope is just another word for love.<br />
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With love,<br />
ElizabethElizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-77595229416296782992012-02-14T09:59:00.001-05:002012-02-14T09:59:08.127-05:00Valentine's DayHi Friends,<br />
<br />
Its been a while since I last wrote here but not for lack of trying. I sit down regularly with my computer sure that this is the time I'll know just what to put on my blog and then.....nothing. Nothing sounds right, nothing looks right, nothing makes sense, and nothing makes it past my immediate veto. Why is that? <br />
<br />
I finally took the time to read through some old posts and read through the posts from our caring bridge site and something struck me: those posts (for the most part) were just me talking, sharing my day, my ups and downs, my life moment to moment. Since then I seem to have fallen into the trap of trying to write the perfect post and when I don't think its working I just stop. I've finally remembered that you are not reading this to correct my incorrect grammer or to question my use of foreshadowing. You are here because you want to read what I have to say. Thank you for that. Hopefully, I won't forget it again and this blog can once again become my voice.<br />
<br />
So, on that note, its Valentine's day and I did something that I think the magazines say is a no-no. I asked for flowers. I wasn't vague, I wasn't passive, I simply said "Honey, I'd like you to bring me flowers on Valentines day." I may also have added in a quick something like "or I'll cry!" but we can forget about that little slip up. It's not that I don't trust the love of my life to get me flowers its only that I wanted to be sure to express myself. He knows I don't need roses and he knows that while chocolate is great I'd really prefer to wait for cases and cases of Cadbury Cream eggs at Easter time. He also knows that I love flowers. Pretty much all flowers. Now, for those of you who are reading this and thinking its written so that a certain hubby won't forget - Stop being so cynical! He already knows how I feel and if you've met him for even a moment or two you know that he wouldn't give me flowers because I shamelessly begged for them online.<br />
<br />
That's my day. Happy Valentines Day to one and all. Give in to the commercialism and buy someone (even yourself) a card and some flowers. Isn't it nice to make someone smile.....<br />
<br />
ElizabethElizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-43549445572628401702012-01-01T21:19:00.000-05:002012-01-01T21:19:37.169-05:00Happy New Year!Happy New Year friends! <br />
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How many of you took the time yesterday to write down a new year's resolution? How many of you shared your resolution out loud with someone who might just hold you accountable? How many of you think the whole thing is ridiculous but got a new gym membership anyway? <br />
<br />
I, spent the last 2 weeks or so, trying to formalize my resolution for 2012. Not so easy to do....I had assumed that I could start with a few ideas and pull them together into one cohesive idea. I started with some variation of the following list:<br />
Eat better<br />
Drink more tea, less starbucks (even if it is decaf)<br />
Do yoga more regularly<br />
Be organized at night for the following day<br />
Change the sheets before they need it<br />
Exercise regularly<br />
Dust regulary<br />
Stay healthy<br />
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The list goes on and on. Many of the things I first came up with were, in fact, things that I can not control nor change. Those didn't make past week 1, no need to resolve to do something that I have no chance of doing. I'd much rather stick with realistic goals. <br />
<br />
On New Year's Eve my dear hubby asked me about my resolution...I quickly said "organization" but within an hour or two had changed that to "routine". I don't know about you but routine works for me. It gives me comfort and reduced anxiety. It gives me control in a world, that is often uncontrollable. So, for 2012, I resolve to give more routine to my life. I suppose this means I should give the house a dust tomorrow!<br />
<br />
Happy New Years!<br />
<br />
<br />Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-16368089341034422962011-11-26T21:49:00.001-05:002011-11-26T22:08:36.046-05:00I am thankful for...<span style="font-size: small;">During the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving I took on the Facebook challenge of posting something I was thankful for, for each day. I enjoyed the exercise quite a bit and have compiled the list for you to see in its entirety. What are you thankful for today?</span><br />
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<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 2, 2011 I am thankful for hot cider on cold fall mornings!</span></span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 3, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful for my 4 year old's vocabulary, "Mommy, when we go to DisneyLand can we see the ruthless henchmen?".</span></span></h6>
<span style="font-size: small;">Nov. 4, 2011 <span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful for the wonders of transplant. (And maybe a little time to my self).</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 5, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful for Team in Training friends (here's looking at you Jennifer Bolitho).</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 6, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful that I can't think of any "cancerversary" that falls on November 6. Just a normal day for a normal lady.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 7, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful that my kiddo seems ignorant of the time change and is getting a little extra, much needed, kiddo sleep.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 8, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful that it is an off week for bloodwork.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 9, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful or the things that are crossed off the "to-do" list. Done.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 10, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful to be alive. Some days I am struck by that fact.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 11, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful for the pair of jeans that have been in storage for 16 months. Still a smidge big but sooooo comfortable.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 12, 2011 B</span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">ecause
I am a moron and posted yesterday before remembering it was veteran's
day...Today I am thankful for all of the men and women, past, present
and future who serve in the military.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 13, 2011</span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"> Today I am thankful for beautiful fall weather and a kiddo who also loves to enjoy it!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 14, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful for an understanding and loving husband. (don't tell him though, I wouldn't want it to go to his head).</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 15, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span>Today I am thankful that I have the opportunity/chance/</span><wbr></wbr><span class="word_break"></span>responsibility to make another person's life a little easier.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 16, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful that I am not one of "those" people.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 17, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful (and honestly amazed) that I did not spontaneously combust at hot yoga this morning.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 18, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful to have arrived safely in California. Woohoo for vacation!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 19, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful for a kiddo who slept "late" even with the 3 hour time difference!</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 20, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful for warm weather and sunny skies (neither of which we are experiencing right now).</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 21, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful that neither my daughter nor niece fell into the La Brea tar pits.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 22, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful for Southern California weather.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 23, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today I am thankful for the happiest place on earth. (I hope we see some princesses)!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Nov. 24, 2011 </span><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Today
I am especially thankful for my health, my Grace, my Adam, my family,
and my friends. Love to all on a wonderful Thanksgiving.</span></span><br />
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"> </span>Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-88657140081853779292011-10-22T18:13:00.000-04:002011-10-22T18:13:03.769-04:00Team Elizabeth Walk/Run<div style="text-align: center;">
Today's 2nd Annual TE Walk/Run was a great success! Thank you to all who made it possible. </div>
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For race results visit: RaceMenu.com/Results</div>
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More info to follow as we tally up numbers and figure out how much money will be going to Be The Match!!!</div>Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-48790798533171851932011-10-13T17:09:00.004-04:002011-10-13T17:13:01.808-04:00Team Elizabeth Event 2011Hello Readers,<br />
<br />
I am reaching out to you to once
again announce the upcoming Team Elizabeth Walk/Run! The event (our
2nd) will take place on Saturday, October 22, 2011 at 9am in Hull,
Massachusetts and benefit The Marrow Donor Registry. <br />
<br />
Following the Walk/Run we will be hosting an after party at Daddy's Beach Club in Hull. There you can enjoy free pizza and even have the opportunity to sign up to be on the National Marrow Donor Registry.<br />
<br />
This email is to let you know the many ways that you can be involved and support this cause. <br />
<br />
1. Register at <a href="http://www.racemenu.com/teamelizabeth" target="_blank">http://www.racemenu.com/<wbr></wbr>teamelizabeth</a><br />
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for either the 2 mile walk or 4 mile run ($25 for either)<br />
<br />
2. Register at <a href="http://www.racemenu.com/teamelizabeth" target="_blank">http://www.racemenu.com/<wbr></wbr>teamelizabeth</a><br />
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to be a virtual walker or runner ($25)<br />
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3. Make a donation directly to Be The Match at <a href="http://www.bethematch.org/goto/teamelizabeth" target="_blank">http://www.bethematch.org/<wbr></wbr>goto/teamelizabeth</a><br />
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4. Make a purchase from Avon and a portion of the sale will go to support the Team Elizabeth Race and Be The Match <a href="http://www.youravon.com/amandajoyce" target="_blank">http://www.youravon.com/<wbr></wbr>amandajoyce</a><br />
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When checking out use the promotional code: TEAME11<br />
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As you can see we have made it possible for everyone, near and far, to be a part of this great event! If you have questions please feel free to contact me at ehnaylor@gmail.com<br />
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Thank you for your ongoing support.<br />
<br />
ElizabethElizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-26928569181079867982011-10-09T21:01:00.003-04:002011-10-09T21:01:37.514-04:00We have lost a dear friend suddenly and unexpectedly. I want to be able to write the perfect post but I think re-posting this previous post is best. Chris and Ed I hope you have met, wherever it is that you are now. You would have been great friends here on Earth. I love you both.<br />
<br />
Dear Friend,<br />
<br />
I miss you. There are gaps in my heart
as a result of your passing. Pieces that went with you to wherever it
is that you have ended up. Heaven, reincarnation, dirt, whatever it is
that is good and right for you and your soul and being. I imagine you
as a star in the sky, feeling no pain, no worry, and no fear. Feeling
all love and goodness and contentment. I imagine that you are enjoying
yourself as you watch those of us still here and smile. I imagine you
being welcomed by others. Maybe people that you did not know in this
life but who you would have liked. You all are good to one another, as
you were good to me in the time we spent together. You teach one
another as you taught me. About love, friendship, courage, humor, and
grace. Dear friend I miss you.<br />
<br />
With Love,<br />
ElizabethElizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-84359756565339118302011-08-16T12:10:00.000-04:002011-08-16T12:10:27.160-04:00Hope is the thing with feathers...<div style="text-align: left;">Hope is a word that we use all the time. "I hope I get a good parking space", "I hope it doesn't rain", "I hope these cookies are tasty". It wasn't until I really needed to live with hope that understood that true meaning of hope. Hope is believing in something that may seem unbelievable. Hope is crying uncontrollably because you don't know what else to do, but at some point smiling again. Hope is living with the fear but not allowing the fear to take over you. Hope is knowing that things will change, eventually. </div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">Hope by Emily Dickinson </div><br />
Hope is the thing with feathers <br />
That perches in the soul, <br />
And sings the tune--without the words, <br />
And never stops at all,<br />
And sweetest in the gale is heard; <br />
And sore must be the storm <br />
That could abash the little bird <br />
That kept so many warm.<br />
I've heard it in the chillest land, <br />
And on the strangest sea; <br />
Yet, never, in extremity, <br />
It asked a crumb of me.<br />
<br />
This poem by Emily Dickinson speaks to me. Amazingly, I only recently read the entire poem. I had only ever heard the first couple of lines, and although I find meaning in those, the whole poem means so much more. Take some time with it. Read it. Read it again. What does it mean to you and your world?<br />
<br />
<br />
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Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-86662299130662927472011-07-28T18:00:00.000-04:002011-07-28T18:00:36.825-04:00FaithI am sitting outside the NIH Chapel doors trying to organize my thoughts on faith into words and complete sentences. A fitting place to be seated but I must confess it wasn't until after I selected a comfortable looking chair that I fully realized my proximity to the chapel.<br />
<br />
At some point during my battle with cancer I turned to my husband (the son of a minister) and said, "I'm finished with God. There can not possibly be a God that would allow this much pain and fear to go on in the world". Adam, very simply, nodded and said quietly, "ok".<br />
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It was during this time of giving up my religious faith that I discovered my need for faith in something. Something greater than the faith that chocolate would always taste good. I found my faith in my strength, my love, my power, my humor, and my ability to take what was being thrown at me (even when horribly difficult). <br />
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It took about two weeks of "not believing in God" and instead believing inand having faith in myself, to find God and my religious faith. Don't misunderstand me, I was still (and continue to be) mad at God because he clearly can't fix all that I deem fixable. But, regardless, I have complete faith in His love for me, just as I have complete faith in my own love for myself. And in that I have found healing.Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-42769301707715132011-07-27T22:42:00.000-04:002011-07-27T22:42:44.805-04:00Faith & HopeThere is a great deal that I want to say on the topics of faith and hope but, to be honest, I'm having trouble organizing all of my thoughts. So, instead of rambling along and scaring away readers I thought I'd start by posting some of my favorite quotations. A longer post with more of my own words will follow soon.<br />
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Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the staircase.<br />
-Martin Luther King Jr.<br />
<br />
I would rather err on the side of faith than on the side of doubt.<br />
-Robert Schuller<br />
<br />
Miracles happen everyday.<br />
-Unknown<br />
<br />
Where hope grows, miracles blossom.<br />
-Elna Rae<br />
<br />
There are only two ways to live...one is as though nothing is a miracle...the other is as though everything is. - Albert EinsteinElizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6600438801870471642.post-36418356482886631662011-07-04T16:13:00.000-04:002011-07-04T16:13:33.300-04:00"Mommy, Did you win the race?"Happy 4th of July! Once again, I say, what a difference a year makes. Last year on the 4th I "ran" about 20 yards while holding my daughter's hand in a little kids fun run. At the time I weighed a little over 100 pounds and was on a fairly strict diet that wasn't particularly conducive to flavor, or second helpings. I was suffering from steroid induced insomnia and had not slept for more than a 3 hour stretch in days. And I was fairly anxious about getting to +100 days and getting to go home to Massachusetts.<br />
<br />
This morning I got up and ran in the Hingham Road Race with my friend Bryan (he was incredibly patient with my pace...and quite enjoyable to run with). So....last year 20 yards and this year 4.47 miles!<br />
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At the end of the race my daughter and husband were there to give huge hugs and smiles. I picked up my little girl as she asked me "Mommy, did you win the race?" I was just about to explain to her that, in fact, lots of people had finished before more and a few people finished after me, when I stopped and really thought about the question...."Yes Grace, Mommy did win the race". She kissed me and I swear in all of her 4 year old wisdom she understood exactly what I meant.<br />
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In the spirit of this story, I want to announce to all of you that I will be running in the Maine 1/2 marathon on October 2 with Team in Training. My sister, Susannah, is the Boston City Team Coach and in addition to being the "Honored Hero" for the team I decided to give it a go. In doing this race in October I am committing to raising money for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I am including the link to my fundraising site here as well as at the top of my blog. Please remember that every little bit helps and every dollar I raise is another dollar that just might help some one like me to win the race. <a href="http://pages.teamintraining.org/ma/maine11/enaylorek4">http://pages.teamintraining.org/ma/maine11/enaylorek4 </a>Elizabeth Hamblin Naylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02167765051291955201noreply@blogger.com0