Easter Sunday

Today is not an anniversary in the traditional sense but not a whole lot about the last year and a half has been traditional.  My one year anniversary of my stem cell transplant was on April 6th but last year April 4th was Easter Sunday.  Two days before I was scheduled for transplant I was helping my daughter pick out the "perfect" Easter bow to wear to church with Daddy.  Two days before my transplant Daddy went off to church wearing dress pants, a blue and purple checked shirt and a pink striped tie while Daughter wore a pink seersucker dress, party shoes, and a yellow bow in her hair.  I may or may not have gotten out of my pjs that day and my bald head required a hat on and off all day.  To be totally honest I only remember what my family was wearing because my favorite picture of my husband and daughter was taken on that day. 

While they went to an Easter service at an unknown church in Bethesda, Maryland, I lay on the couch of our rented home trying desperately not to throw up as everything made me sick and cancer ravaged at parts of my body.  (The transplant preparatory chemo was the only chemo that ever made me nauseous).  When they returned from church we had an Easter egg hunt in the back yard that was followed by approximately 30 minutes of "searching" and yelling for the Easter bunny to come back and visit.  Not only did I smile that day but I laughed.  Laughter that made my body shake, laughter that made me remember to never stop fighting for my life.  I have too much to live and laugh for.

Today, one Easter later, I was able to attend the Easter service with my family.  This morning I woke up and not only picked out the perfect bow I also was able to pick out the perfect outfit.  This morning I was able to pick out my own outfit...in fact I was able to go threw more than one outfit (after the first one didn't look right).  This morning I was able to eat pancakes and drink orange juice without fear of my stomach rejecting either.  This morning I had to use a hair dryer to be sure that my hair was in the right place.  On this Easter morning I was able to be a part, a real part, of the everyday life of my family.  On this Easter I enjoyed the day with the knowledge that this past Thursday my PET scan continued to show no signs of cancer activity in my body.  Today I am alive and laughing and loving.

Happy Easter.

XOXO