TEN THINGS

Ten things that made a difference to me while I battled with Cancer

1.) The cards.  Each and every card that I received during the time that I was being treated for cancer brought a smile to my face.  It did not matter if the sender wrote a novel or one line, it was truly the thought that mattered.  I still have each of those cards stored in several boxes and bags.

2.) The phone messages.  I was often unable or not interested in speaking on the phone and many people respected that and would leave me kind and thoughtful messages that did not require a call back.

3.) The hugs.  Having cancer makes you feel different from everyone else and no matter how much support you have around you, you still often feel very lonely.  Receiving a hug was a gentle reminder that I wasn't alone.

4.) Being alone.  From the time I was diagnosed in October until March when I spent time in a hospital in Greenwich, Connecticut I was almost never alone.  I had friends and family, Doctors and Nurses everywhere I turned.  That hospital stay actually gave me the first chance to be by myself for a bit.  And being alone every now and again made me feel "normal".  How many adults do you know that are never alone?

5.) "Normal" conversations.  People who would talk to me about things other than my cancer and my treatments.  I certainly wanted to talk about those things at times but it was so important to me to hear about the "non" cancer world too.

6.) The books.  I have two shelves filled with books that people either gave me or recommended to me.  Many of them have to do with cancer and healing but there are also poetry books, prayer books, fiction books, and biographies.  I love to read and each one of those gifts provided me with that outlet as well as a connection to the giver.

7.) The movie Notting Hill.  This movie was loaned to me by a dear friend and I lost count after probably the 15th viewing.  It was funny, and sad, and funny.  It made me smile over and over again.

8.) Gatorade.  Many people brought me many bottles of gatorade.  Thank you.  A person can only drink so much water and when you are constantly trying to maintain hydration something a little different is amazing!

9.) Questions.  Lots of people were afraid to ask me about my disease, my treatment, or my prognosis.  At the same time many people were able to ask me those questions.  While I didn't always want to talk about it, nine times out of ten it was a relief to be able to talk about it.  To answer other people's questions provided me with a small sense of control of the situation.  It cemented for me that I did know what was going on with my body and medications.

10.)  Continued support.  My journey with cancer is not over.  I may have clean scans and the knowledge that there isn't any cancer activity to be seen in my body but the nightmare that is a cancer diagnosis doesn't just disappear when you get a clean scan.  Visiting the doctor is still scary, bloodwork is still hard to obtain (my veins are shot from chemo), and not a day goes by that I don't think about all that I have been through.  The continued support from friends and family is so important in whatever form it takes.